


The Road To Her Hart

by WillowEdmond



Category: Professional Wrestling, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: F/M, Parody, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:56:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3602331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillowEdmond/pseuds/WillowEdmond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sparkleshine Sue Sugar is liek the HOTTEST Diva ever!  When she joins the WWE, she has her eye on more than just that pink and purple belt.  She wants to join with THE SHIELD!  Can she do it?  And how will her horrible, tragic, past interfere in her quest for romance?  (Story was written on theraflu, it is deliberately stupid)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We're Not Worthy

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer Like, my guys Deanie, Romie and Sethie are like not really mine (though they should be, 'cause I just love The Shield!) So, don't sue me! Okay? And in this story, Shield never broke up 'cause that gave me a big sad and so I'm IGNORING THAT BREAK UP AND YOU SHOULD TOO WHEN YOU READ THIS! 
> 
> Sparkleshine Sue Sugar is mine thou, so don't steal her! Even thou you'll want to, 'cause she's so AWESOME! LOLLOLLOL!

The members of Shield were sitting in the back of the arena eating lunch when the announcement was made. "ALL TALLENT PLEASE REPORT TO THE FRONT AREA RIGHT AWAY! VINCE HAS A WICKED IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE AND YOU ALL SHOULD BE THERE!!!" 

Roman finished off his turkey sandwich. "We should go to that."

"Yes, we should," Seth said and nodded too as he chewed on the last of his fish taco. 

"I'm still eating," Dean said, shoveling Coco Krispies cereal into his face and getting a chocolate milk 'stash that made him look even extra cuter than normal.

The big, ultra smexy Samoan shook his head, his silky raven colored locks falling about his face. Weird, since he had his hair in a pony tale, but some of it must have escaped. "If Vince says this is a wicked important announcement, then we like really gotta go." 

"Yeah," sort-of weasel like, but still TOTALLY cute in his own way, Seth said. "I mean, first it is Vince. Second it is wicked important. And everyone knows wicked important is much more important that regular important, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah." The cutie pie blonde rolled his beautiful sapphire blue eyes in a look that clearly said, 'yeah yeah, whatever,' and said, "whatever." then added, "Just let me finish my cereal, okay? You know how grumpy I get when someone interrupts me from my Coco Krispies!"

"Well, hurry up," the big, ultra smexy Samoan sex god says. 

* * *

 

A few minutes later, the three BROTHERS 4 LIFE!! headed to the front of the arena, like where the show takes place. Everyone was already gathered around the ring looking all nervous and stuff, because they had no clue what the wicked important announcement was about. 

"Hey," Dean cutely asked CM Punk, who almost quit but came back because he knew the WWE needed him and because he knew he needed to be close to AJ cause they were like married AND REALLY IN LOVE. "Do you know what this announcement is about?" 

"No, I don't," CM Punk said, still feeling grateful, that he had come back to the WWE, "I do know that it's supposed to be wicked important."

"Well DUH! " Seth said, rolling his sparkly brown eyes as he spoke. "The announcement SAID it was WICKED important. We could have told YOU that." 

"Fine, then I won't share shit with you anymore," Punk snapped, cause even though he's back, he's still a pretty grumpy guy like that cat everyone likes. 

Finally, Triple H got into the ring through the trap door at the bottom where like the Undertaker and Kane sometimes went though. He could have come down the ramp and all, but he decided this would be like a lot more dramatic and stuff. "I'm glad you're all here," He said, looking around. "'Cause Vince, the owner of the company will be here any second and he's got something wicked important to tell you." As he looked around, his eyes fell on Dean. "Dean, you've got a chocolate milk 'stash on your face."

"So?" Dean said, 'cause he's like the lunatic. "Does it BOTHER you or something?

"No," Hunter said, rolling his eyes. "I just thought you'd like to know. But if you don't care, then neither do I." 

Soon though, the lights went dim. "LOOK OVER THERE!" Triple H shouted and pointed to the back of the arena. Everyone looked because he was a boss and when your boss tells you to look, you look. 

When they all turned back, Vince was standing in the ring with this girl. She was about eighteen years old with waist long black hair so black it almost looked blue, like the wings on a raven. She was wearing these really cute shorts too. Pink with white piping and little rhinestones in them that sparked when the light hit them. Her top matched her shorts, so it was pink too and across her double D breast, that were TOTALLY real, unlike some of the OTHER divas was written "SPARKLESHINE!" The rhinestones were so glittery and shiny that when the lights hit them you'd go almost about blind from glittershock. And her sneakers were pink too. But no rhinestones, cause that would be overkill. But the laces were the same shade of white as the piping on her shorts. She wore sparkly earrings too, and anyone with half a brain would know the jewels in them were real. They matched her eyes too, which were so dark blue they looked purple. In other words, she was a total megababe. 

"Wow," the Sexy Beast Samoan said, "She's a megababe." 

"Super megababe," Seth remarked.

"Makes me want to shoot her dog," Dean said, cause that boi be CRAZY!

"Everyone listen up," Vince said. "'Cause this is extremely important." 

"I thought it was supposed to be wicked important," Dean whispered into Roman's ear, making Roman all hot and bothered and stuff, 'cause they're straight and stuff, but you know, when your friend is THAT hot it gives you ideas. 

"He's old, he's gonna make mistakes like that," Roman whispered back, now making Dean's hairs on his neck stand all up and such. "But, listen!"

"I want to listen!" Seth hissed, but he wasn't hot and bothered cause no one whispered in his ear. "But you won't let me." 

"SHUT UP, I'M TALKING!" Vince screamed at Seth, really upset 'cause he wants to make this announcement and everyone is talking. 

Everyone got like real quiet and all. You could have heard a pin drop. "Good." Vince said, less pissed because people were finally listening and not joking around. "This is Sparkleshine Sue Sug-"

"Oh, what a beautiful name!" One of the Divas, the skinny blond one, interrupted to say sighingly. 

"AS I WAS SAYING!" Vince roared, not happy that blonde chick interrupted him, even if she did say what everyone was thinking. "This is Sparkleshine Sue Sugar. She came for tryouts and all NTX yesterday. And she tried out, and ended up almost killing Charlotte in her tryouts-"

"-I didn't MEAN to," Sparkleshine interrupted, her voice sounding like golden droplets of sunshine dancing across those little hairs in your ears.

"I love her voice," Roman whispered into Seth's ear, because he wanted to get Seth hot and bothered to. "It sounds like golden droplets of sunshine-

"Dancing across those little hairs in your ears!" both men finished in unison. "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing!" Seth said enthusiastically. 

"I was going easy and all on her," Sparkleshine continued, 'cause she didn't know Roman and Seth were being all rude to her and whispering while she was talking, even if they were saying nicely truthful stuff. "I was holding back and everything, but gesh, I can't help it if compared to me she's all weak and sh-" She stopped because she almost said shit, but then said, "Stuff." That made everyone laugh because they knew what she really meant to say and it showed them she wasn't perfect so she couldn't be a Mary Sue. 

"Yeah, we know," Vince said, looking Sparkleshine over carefully. "And normally, that could get you in some serious doo-doo, but there's something about you that makes me say you should be able to get away with anything you want. Anyway!" He looked back over at all the wrestlers and Diva's "With that much talent, we want her in the WWE, the big time. So, she's here."

"She's too pretty!" One of the diva's objected. The mousy one with the twin that looks slightly prettier than she does. "It's not fair!" she added, cause she's kind of a whiny baby like that. She doesn't deserve Daniel Bryan, although with that beard and all, maybe she does. 

"Did I ASK for your opinion?" Vince roared like a roaring lion. "And I'll decide what is fair around here because I'm the boss! Got it?"

Mousy twin nods and kicked the ground.

"We don't mind," Dolph Ziggler said. "We like that she's the most beautiful woman we've ever seen in our lives." He nodded too. 

"Yeah," All the guys agreed. Even the gay one, because even gay guys can appreciate a beautiful woman. That's what my hairdresser says, anyway and he should know, cause he's gayer than Christmas. And before you get mad at that, he's the one that told ME that. He said, "I'm gayer than Christmas," so okay? I'm only saying what HE said about himself. 

"I want to ask her out," hunky Roman whispered to Seth.

"No fair, me too!" Not quite as hunky Seth whispered back. "And don't you have a fiance or wife or something? And a kid?" 

"Yeah, but she's not the one for me." Roman said not taking his eyes off of Sparkleshine. "She's got ISSUES." 

"I didn't know that." Deanie said.

"Neither did I until I saw Sparkleshine," Roman said, his voice really low and super mega smexy. "Now it's like all the stuff I was keeping suppressed is coming out. She's got issues, she's got to GO!" 

"So," Vince was saying, even though people were talking and all, "She's joining the WWE and tonight she's going to have her first match against-" 

Just as Vince was about to say who she would be fighting, a roly-poly guy who looked like a confused and slightly pissed walrus came from back stage with a microphone in his hands. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN MY NAME IS PAUL HEYMAN!" he shouted, because he had some weird phobia that everyone would forget his name so he had to say it every time he talked to people. "AND I AM THE ADVOCATE FOR THE BEAST INCARNATION, BROCK LESNAR!" 

"Yeah," Vince said, rolling his eyes. "We KNOW that! What do you WANT Paul?" 

"You claim Sparkleshine is so tough?" Paul said, not shouting, but still pretty loud. "Then she should fight my client BAHROCK LESSSNARRR!" 

"What, did you take your stupid pills this morning?" Vince sarcastically asked while rolling his eyes again. "She can't fight Brock Lesnar! For he is the beast incarnate and she's just the Most Hottest Diva Ever seen. He'll make glittersauce out of her!"

"Well," Paul said, ignoring the stupid pill remark because as it turned out, he had forgotten to take his medication that morning, but it was just stuff for being fat and having fat problems like diabetes and high blood pressure. He didn't really take stupid, pills because stupid pills aren't real, they're just Vince's way of being mean. "She's the one who's talking about how tough she is." 

"Against other Diva's," Vince reminded him. "Duh, Paul, you were so worried about making a dramatic entrance that you didn't LISTEN. She almost killed Charlotte. Yeah, she might be too tough to fight our pussy Divas and all, but she's not up to fighting Brock Lesnar." 

"Then she's not so tough after all!" Paul said, ignoring all the mean stuff Vince was saying about him not listening and deciding to go just for the heart of the matter. "Then she's just a wimpy wimp."

"HEY!" Sparkleshine screamed, angrily, her voice all shouty. "That's MEAN!" She spun around and looked at Vince. "That does it, no one calls me a wimp! That's a TRIGGER with me!" 

"NOW look what you've done!" Vince shouted furiously to Paul Heyman. "You said a TRIGGER word! Sparkleshine had a HORRIBLE, TRAGIC PAST!" 

"Everyone CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" Hunter roared, because someone had to get a grip on this, and he felt like the situation was getting out of control. 

"NO!" Sparkleshine said. She looked at Paul Heyman, her eyes narrowed into steely slits of pure anger, all sorts of angry emotions leaking out of them like sparks. "You tell your client BROCK LESNAR that I'll fight him tonight on RAW under ONE condition!"

"Oh? What's that?" Paul said, figuring she'd ask for something dumb and female like sparkly nail polish. But he didn't know, she had a suitcase full of sparkly nail polish and was in fact, wearing sparkly pink nail polish because it matched her cute outfit. 

"If I win," Sparkleshine said. "I get to JOIN the SHIELD as the FOURTH member!"

"All right!" Dean High-Fived Roman who did one of those fist pumps with his free hand.

"Babe in the SHIELD!" Seth crowed like a bird. 

"Wouldn't you rather win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship?" Vince asked kinda surprised that she would just want to join Shield. A lot of girls liked to wear black, but Sparkleshine was more of a pink and purple kinda girl. If she joined Shield she'd have to wear black. 

"No," Sparkleshine shook her head in the negative. "If I win, I get to join The Shield. 'Cause they're the coolest guys on the Rooster." 

"I don't like this!" Vince said, not liking this. 

"My client BROCK LESNAR accepts!" Paul said, even though he hadn't really asked Brock Lesnar, because Brock Lesnar wasn't out there. But being his advocate, Paul could make those arrangements and Brock would just have to suck it up and do it. 

"Well, then, that's that!" Triple H said. "It's decided. Tonite Sparkleshine fights BROCK LESNAR in the main event. and if she wins she will be the fourth and only female member of the previously three-member all male Shield!"

And everyone cheered, cause they knew tonight's RAW was going to be the Best. 

End of Chapter One

* * *

Authors Notes: PLZ review? Pretty, pretty, please with sugar whipped cream and a cherry on top? *Says with TEH HUGEST PUPPYDOG EYEZ* Just plz don't say mean things okay? Cause my mama taught me "If you can't say something nice, you don't say anything at all!" and that's how I feel too. So don't be extra picky about the grammar and stuff. But let me know how much you love Sparkleshine, cause I think she's the coolest OC around! And my Mom and Bestiebest and my Boyfriend (who's REAL you know, I didn't make him up, he's REAL and HE LOVES ME!) who I let read this agree. And don't you just loooove the name Sparkleshine? I called her that because my Dad used to call me Sparkles when I was a little kid. He'd say to me, "You sparkle, so I'm going to call you Sparkles." But I didn't want to call her just Sparkles so I called her Sparkleshine Sue Sugar. Which I think is a really pretty name. I was thinking of calling her Elkraps, because that's Sparkle spelled backwards, but I like Sparkleshine better, don't you? Anyway, plz review and tells me howmuch you like this! *Moar Puppydog Eyes* I'll send you cookies if you do! Plz plz plz? 

 

Until the next chapter which will be Chapter Two! The Best Raw EVAH! Love ya! kthxbi!


	2. The Best Raw EVAH!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparkleshine Sue Sugar has to face down the Beast Incarnate, BROCK LESNAR! Can she do it? Do you even have to ask?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer Like, my guys Deanie, Romie and Sethie are like not really mine (though they should be, 'cause I just love me some Shield!) So, don't sue me! Okay? And in this story, Shield never broke up 'cause that gave me a big sad and so I'm IGNORING THAT BREAK UP AND YOU SHOULD TOO WHEN YOU READ THIS! I changed some others stuff too, but I'm saving that for a SURPISE 'cause everyone loves a SURPRISE! 
> 
> Sparkleshine Sue Sugar is mine thou, so don't steal her! Even thou you'll want to, 'cause she's so AWESOME! LOLLOLLOL!

After all the announcements were over and all that, everyone went back stage. The Shield went back to catering and sat down at a table. All the Divas tried to talk to them and all, cause they are like SO Smexy, but they ignored them, they were too busy thinking about Sparkleshine. "She's so pretty!" The Big Smexy Samoan said.

"Yeah, she is!" the man with the 3/4 brown and 1/4th blonde hair said. "I would love to jump her bones!" 

"I still want to shoot her dog," Lunatic Dean said. But he was so cute when he said it that no one minded. Besides, they didn't know it, but Sparkleshine didn't even HAVE a dog, so even if Dean was serious, no dog was in any danger.

"If she can beat Brock Lesnar she'll be the only female and fourth member of the formally all male and three member Shield," Roman pondered ponderously. 

"IF?" Someone interrupted with a voice that felt as blessed as golden honey sliding down a really, really sore throat. 

They looked up to see Sparkleshine standing there. She had changed into another outfit, this one purple with neon yellow piping. And just to be different, her sneakers were neon yellow with purple laces, but the laces were sparkly and all. She had even changed over her nail polish and she had all her odd nails painted in sparkly purple and her even fingers painted in neon yellow. It was stunning. "Nice outfit!" Dean said. "Did you get that at Bloomies?" 

"No," Sparkleshine said, still a little disappointed that Roman said "if" when he should have faith in her, but glad Dean had noticed her outfit. "American Apparel. I don't believe in paying more for something than I have to. I had a lot of brothers and sisters growing up. I was the only one who seem to count, but my parents still felt obligted to feed and clothe them and all, so we didn't have money to just THROW AROUND, like everyone else did. Besides I make everything look good." And with a toss of her to DIE for red hair, but not orangy red or copper red, but a COOL red like the color of really expensive red WINE, she sat down and joined them. She didn't have to ask because she knew they wanted her to. 

"That you do," Seth said and there was a little drool at the corner of his mouth. "Wipe your mouth, Seth," Sparkleshine ordered, tossing a napkin at him. "You're drooling." "Sorry," Seth said as he wiped his mouth with the napkin. "It's just you're SO pretty." "Hey!" Roman said,"I haven't had a chance to hit on her!" "Me either," Dean said. "Do you have a dog?" 

"No, what are you weird?" Sparkleshine said to Dean, looking at him as if she was wondering if he was weird. 

"No, he's just the lunatic," Roman said, his voice all megasmexy. "Babygirl," He added, cause that usually made the women drop their panties, even the expensive ones from Victoria's Secret and such. 

"I KNOW that," Sparkleshine said. "Duh, Roman." Roman looked really hurt and all, so she reached out and put her hand on his. "It's okay, Roman. I didn't mean to snap at you. I think you're pretty sexy and all that stuff. But I don't know if we should think about having a relationship. I have this really awful, tragic past and it makes things kind of complicated." 

"I don't care!" Roman declared, not caring. "We can get through this, babygirl!" He took her hand all softly like it was a fragile piece of glass, even though Sparkleshine had challenged Brock Lesnar so she HAD to be tough. "I'm here to help you get over that tragic past." 

"I'll help too." Seth said, vowing to help however he could.

"Oh, count me in too," Dean said and he shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe I'll get a b-job from you someday out of gratefulness." 

"DEAN!" Roman was all shocked and horrified and you could hear that in his voice. "Be nice!"

"Oh, it's okay," Sparkleshine said, with a wave of her hand, the other hand, the one Roman wasn't still holding. "I'm used to it. And I'm not one of those overly girly girls who gets all offended at the thought of sex, even though I have a tragic past. I can be one of the guys too. Except I don't have a winky." 

"I hope not!" Seth exclaimed in an excited voice, "Because I'd have to turn gay." 

"Wow, Seth, that was insensitive," Sparkleshine said, rolling he eyes because Seth was being SO un PC. "But we have more important things to discuss. Like tonight." 

"You are going to fight Brock Lesnar," Dean said. "That won't be easy."

"I know, but I can do it," Sparkleshine declared making a declaration. Then she asked, "Roman can I have my hand back?"

"Oh, sorry," Roman said, letting go of her hand and feeling very sad that he wasn't still holding it. He could still feel some of the warmth from her beautiful alabaster skin and there was a tiny piece of glitter from where a drop of nail polish had gotten on her skin that had wiped off in his palm. He looked at the glitter and almost felt tears in his eyes because he could remember her hand being there and it made him all sad and stuff.

"It's okay." She took turns looking from one guy to the next, her eyes taking in each of them in turn. "Are you guys willing to come down to the ring with me? Likes stand by me and shi- stuff?" She rolled her eyes at her almost slip up. "I'm trying not to say shit all the time. But I forget and all. At least I've stopped saying Fuck all the time. I used to be bad with that one. All day long, fuck this, fuck that, fuck you. But I stopped using Fuck. Still having problems with shit." 

"That's okay, we are manly men," Seth said, "We don't mind hearing the word shit once in awhile. But we appreciate and respect your efforts to stop saying it and we will try not to say those words around you either, unless we really feel we have to. And yeah, we will have your back." He looked at Roman, his eyeballs narrowing until Roman nodded offering his support.

"I vow to support you too," Roman vowed,

"Should we cheat?" Dean asked questioningly. "So you win? I mean, we're kind of good guys, but this won't be fair, you against Lesnar, so maybe even though we're kinda good guys, we can cheat." 

"You're right," She said, a very determined look on her face. "It isn't a fair fight. For Brock Lesnar, that is!" And with that, she got up and stomped out of the room, her feet stomping angrily along the floor. It was a really dramatic exit!

* * *

Raw started that night and Triple H and Stephanie went out and said a lot of boring Authority stuff, that no one listened to, because Triple H isn't nearly as hunky as he used to be and Stephanie isn't as pretty as Nattie, so no one really cared. Besides, they were sooooooo boring. Zzzzzzzzzzzz Everyone was waiting for the hunky guys and the pretty babes to come out and strut their stuff. There was a little interest when Dolph Ziggler came out and started going off on how he was the future of the WWE because he had the briefcase. (See? Surprise! I told you I had surprises! Since Seth is still with Shield, I gave Dolph the MITB briefcase!) because Dolph is kind of cute, but he's being such a douche-nozzle with that briefcase that after awhile, even his cute can't save him. 

Then, Kane came out and all this fire and stuff happened. And he said something and no one listened, because, who cares, it's Kane and he should retire because he's probably like thirty or something now, way too old to wrestle and even in his hay day he was no hunk, unlike his brother, THE UNDERTAKER who was MEGA SMEXY in his day. Not quite as megasmexy as Roman, but REALLY close. 

And Daniel Bryan came out and everyone started yelling, "YES! YES! YES!" because you just DO that when you see Daniel. And he challenged Kane and they had a match. Kane won, but that was okay because it made everyone feel all sorry and stuff for Daniel. Poor goat boy can't catch a break. The fans boo'ed Kane really bad. Daniel Bryan walked away from the ring looking all degected and stuff. 

Then Nattie and Alicia had a tag team match with Mousy Girl and her twin sister. The twins won, 'cause they get EVERYTHING handed to them, like just because they're TWINS they're BETTER than the rest of us. 

The announcers were saying stuff all night about this BIG SURPRISE coming up. But they didn't say what it was. But Sparkleshine and The Shield knew it was her match with Lesnar. Seth was very worried that Brock might try to attack Sparkleshine before the match, so he went and said to Triple H, "I'm really worried Brock Lesnar might attack Sparkleshine before their match tonight." 

"I know you are," Triple H said, nodding in agreement. "I'm worried too. I think I'm going to lock him in his private dressing room. Does that sound good?"

"That sounds really go-" Seth began then frowned. "Why does HE get a private dressing room?"

"Because he's the WWE. World. Heavyweight. Champion," Triple H said, saying each word to the title like it was it's own complete sentence, which made it much more dramatic and shit. "I don't like it either, but being the WWW. World. Heavyweight. Champion. has to come with SOME perks." 

"I guess," Seth said. "But let's lock him up." So they snuck to his private dressing room and locked him in. 

"Does Sparkleshine know you did this for her?" Triple H asked.

"No."

"Someone should tell her because it was a really nice thing to do," Triple H said. "She might like that. It might score you brownie points with her." 

"What makes you think I want to score brownie points?" Seth asked, getting all nervous because he was afraid Triple H would see how much he was crushing on Sparkleshine.

"Who wouldn't?" Triple H said, and even though he didn't say anything like, "duh!" you could tell that's what he was thinking. "She's like the prettiest diva wrestler to ever work for the WWE. You'd be crazy NOT to want to score brownie points with her."

* * *

So, Punk had a match too, and he won so he was slightly less grumpy. Then the announcers said, "After we come back from the commercials, The Owner Vince McMahon has a mega important announcement!" That was Cole who said that.

"Only an IDIOT would miss this," JBL said. "So, let me guess, King, you'll probably go to the bathroom or something." 

"Oh, you're so funny," King said, but you could tell he was being sarcastic and didn't really think JBL was being funny. 

Then they had commercials. One was for a truck, but I think trucks are bad for the environment unless you're a farmer or live in the south where they're mandatory. But, I didn't pay attention to that one. Another one was for hair care stuff, but I buy my stuff from my hair dresser, I don't buy cheap hair stuff, so I totally ignored that one, too. In fact, I pretty much ignore all the commercials because they're boring. 

When the commercials ended, Vince was in the ring looking all groomed and stuff in a really expensive suit that probably came from JC Penny's or one of those fancy places. He had a microphone in his hand. "Guys," He said, even though some people in the audience were women. "I am pleased to announce that I have signed on a new Diva Wrestler. I think you're going to think she's Da' Bomb, so everyone welcome..." he paused so a dramatic drum roll could play, cause it was just that type of moment and it added some cool drama to the moment. "SPARKLESHINE SUE SUGAR!"

"Wow!" Cole said, "That has to be the prettiest names I ever heard!" 

"Yeah!" Jerry "the king" Lawler. "It's so unique!" 

"Wow!" JBL exclaimed in amazement. "Finally, we all agree on something!" 

Suddenly Kelly Clarkson's song "Stronger" started playing and Kelly Clarkson herself came out to sing it which was even cooler. (Someone knew her and got her down there to perform live) And then Sparkleshine came down the ramp with THE BOIS FROM SHIELD! surrounding her. They decided to forgo their usual entrance through the crowd, because nobody in the audience knew yet that she'd be joining Shield if she won. So they decided to do it this way instead. And, they could keep using Stronger if she lost or had to come out alone. Sparkleshine just loved the song STRONGER. I listened to it a million billion times after that JERK she was dating decided to take someone ELSE to the prom, cause it made me feel better) 

She was wearing new ring gear, some really pretty shorts that were a darker purple than she had worn earlier. But they had sparkles and rhinestones that spelled out, "SPARKLESHINE!" across her butt. The shorts had hot pink satin piping on them too, so cute! She wore a hot pink sports bra type thing with sparkly purple trim. And over that a sparkly purple jacket. She wore cutie little boots too, also sparkly and purple. Her nails were hot pink and sparkly purple each an alternating color. She had matching earrings with pink pearl like thingies and purple sparkly gems that dangled and sounded almost like little tiny bells every time she tossed her hair around. Her almost white it was so blonde hair was all done up with sparkly things woven into her hair and they didn't even have to give her extentions, because she had such naturally THICK hair. And her REAL Double D's looked a whole lot better than those FAKE ones the other Diva's had. Everyone gasped as she made her way to the stage, the Shield guys walking with her, practically panting cause she was so pretty. Seth was drooling a little bit but he wiped his mouth a lot so no one saw it.

They escorted her to the ring and helped her up the stairs, even though she could do it herself and had even done it before without help. But, they wanted to be polite, so Dean held the ropes apart for her and she walked into the ring, her raven hair swinging behind her, the glittery gems woven into it, catching the lights and almost blinding folks, because it was so glittery.

They had to wait awhile for the applause to die down because everyone was on their feet cheering and yelling "SPARK- KLE-SHINE! SPARK-KLE-SHINE!" over and over again. She hadn't even FOUGHT yet, and already they adored her! 

"Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is Sparkleshine Sue Sugar!" Vince bellowed loudly into the microphone and the cheering got even louder and a lot of the guys in the audience were really glad they wore loose pants if you get my drift. The guys wearing those stupid hipster tight jeans were really uncomfortable, but they still cheered too. Some of the women in the audience weren't impressed, but they were ugly jealous bitches, so who cared. 

Someone gave her a microphone and she held it up to her lips, which had a light pink lipstick on them so they looked really pretty. Her teeth were very white. "WWE UNIVERSE!" she shouted. "I AM SPARKLESHINE SUE SUGAR AND I AM HERE TO KICK MAJOR BUTT!" 

More cheering. The guys from Shield gazed at her with adoring eyes. Vince did too, even thou he was married and she was WAY out of his league. But it was pretty obvious who he was gonna fantasize about that night. 

"I AM THE TOUGHEST DIVA AND BEST WRESTLER THIS PLACE HAS EVER KNOW!" she went on to say, just like they had rehearsed earlier. "AND I AM WILLING TO PROVE IT! I WILL TAKE ON ANYONE AND I WILL WIN BECAUSE I AM SO DAMNED GOOD!" 

There was more cheering and the announcers said some more nice stuff about her. And she waved and The Shield guys just smiled and grinned when they weren't looking all tough. Dean made cow eyes at her a couple times but she pretended not to notice, even though deep down she thought Dean was a major hottie. 

All the other wrestlers and Divas came out on the ramp to clap for her. Then, Brock Lesnar's music started and he and Paul Heyman came out and rudely pushed aside the folks on the ramp. (Triple H had remembered to unlock the door before he came out, so that's why they were able to come out) They hurried down and got into the ring and everyone looked all scared and stuff, cause Brock really looks like an angry penis when he's upset and that's kind of disturbing when you think about it.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NAME IS PAUL HEYMAN!" Paul said really really fast, but before he could say that he was the advocate for the Beast Incarnate Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar himself went over to Sparkleshine and stood right up in her grill, staring down at her as if she were nothing but a beautiful sparkly bug he could squash if he wanted.

"You think you're TOUGH?" he shouted, as if she were deaf or something. "I'm Brock LESNAR and I'm THE CHAMPION!" For a tough guy, he had kind of a high voice, which would have been funny, if he hadn't been all intimidating. 

Sparkleshine looked at him, really wishing he'd eaten a breath mint before he'd come out or taken a swig of mouthwash. But she didn't look at all scared. 

"All I've heard since you got here was how GREAT you are!" Brock bellowed like some bellowing bull. "And I don't like it, because it means no one is paying attention to ME!"

"SO?" Sparkleshine said, standing on tiptoes so she could get all in HIS grill. "Can I help it if I'm Beautiful and A LOT MORE FUN THAN YOU?" 

A murmur of agreement went through the audience like a wave made of agreement. 

"I DON'T CARE!" Brock screamed all angry. "I STILL DON'T LIKE IT!"

"Oh yeah?" She shot back like a bullet from a gun, "Whatcha gonna DO about it? Dumbass!" 

"I'm gonna TAKE YOU OUT!" Brock said going back to bellowing like a wounded bull moose or something. "And I'll do it WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK!" 

"Don't make me laugh!" Sparkleshine said, but laughed anyway, cause it was funny to her. "I wouldn't want to hurt you that much, so you keep BOTH your hands untied! But I WILL take you on. And I will WIN!"

"Oh yeah?" Brock sneered, sneerily. "What makes you think you can win against ME, BROCK LESNAR the BEAST INCARNATION!" 

Sparkleshine drew herself up to her fullest height and then another inch for good measure. She balanced on her tippy toes because she'd taken ballet lessons when she was a kid so she could do that. "Because I'm SPARKLESHINE SUE SUGAR!" she screamed. "AND I'M EFFIN GREAT!" 

And the crowd cheered and everyone cleared the ring, cause they were going to fight. Triple H announced it would be a championship match. (Don't worry, I'll explain in the author notes) 

"Holy Shit," Sparkleshine thought as the referee came in wearing this stupid black and white shirt because referees have no taste in clothing. "I don't know if I can beat Brock or not. I might actually get hurt!"

But she wouldn't back down, because that's just the type of chick she was. 

And the bell rang and the fight began. 

The End of Chapter Two, The Best Raw Evah!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: I know, I'm so EVIL! LOLLOLLOL! ROFL! I know in chapter one she said she was fighting not for the championship but to join Shield, but I figured she'd want to make that a surprise at the end, so the audience thinks she's fighting for the belt (Which wouldn't look good on her anyway. It's bling, but it's GUY bling) but IF she wins (I haven't decided yet, LOL!) she'll say she doesn't want the stupid belt. Well, you get the idea. I don't want to give it all away! 
> 
> Plzreview? Plz plz plz? Just don't say MEAN things about my writing, 'cause it hurts my feelings and I'm A HUMAN BEING. And you should be nice to other human beings. I don't get PAID or nothing for this, I write this stuff because I like to write and I want to share my talent, so plz plz plz review! With sugar and whipped cream and a cherry and chocolate sprinkles, okay?
> 
> Next will be Chapter Three! Which I'm calling To The Victor goes The Shield! Isn't that clever? 
> 
> Okay, LOVE YA! (Well, at least the nice ones who leave me good reviews. The rest of you can piss up a rope for all I care!) KTHXBI!


	3. To The Victor Goes The Shield!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Sparkleshine possibly win her match against Brock Lesnar so she can join The Shield?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer Like, my guys Deanie, Romie and Sethie are like not really mine (though they should be, 'cause I just love me some Shield!) So, don't sue me! Okay? And in this story, Shield never broke up 'cause that gave me a big sad and so I'm IGNORING THAT BREAK UP AND YOU SHOULD TOO WHEN YOU READ THIS!**
> 
> **Sparkleshine Sue Sugar is mine thou, so don't steal her! Even thou you'll want to, 'cause she's so AWESOME! LOLLOLLOL!**
> 
> _And to that person who PMed me? I'm not making fun of Roman's (in my world ex) Wife. God, I SAID she had ISSUES. I'm not mean, I know ISSUES can be serious, I HAVE ISSUES MYSELF! So CUT ME SOME SLACK! It's just Romie-Rome is on the ROAD ALL THE TIME, he can't handle both being a Mega Sexy Wrestler AND having a Wife with ISSUES. God, I mean, I was ORIGINALLY thinking of making her a CHEATIN HO-Bag, who was ADDICTED to DRUGS and COFFEE, but I didn't want to be THAT mean, so I just gave her SERIOUS ISSUES. But they can be RESOLVED. Just not with Romie, with someone else. Unless Sparkleshine goes for one of the other Bros, then maybe her ISSUES will be revolved and he can go back to her. I'm THINKING about that, so LEAVE ME ALONE!_

As Sparkleshine Sue Sugar stared at the angry bull like man named Brock Lesnar, The Beast Incarnate, she was really really scared. Like pee-in-her-pants scared. Even that time she was held prisoner by this evil cereal killer for fourteen days, which was only PART of the reason why she had such a tragic awful past, wasn't as bad as this and she'd been just a little kid then. Even the time Jayden the cutest guy in her High school, the one that had the hair JUST like Justin Beiber didn't ask her to the prom didn't make her feel as bad as this. (and yeah, Jayden was a BIG part of the reason why she wasn't able to just fall in love with Seth or Dean or even Major Babe Magnet Roman, because Jayden HURT HER SO BAD she could TRUST NO ONE with her hart again. But there was other stuff too. BAD stuff. HORRIBLE stuff.) 

"Sparkleshine," She ordered herself talking to herself because if she said this stuff out loud people would think she was like crazy, and lock her up. "You have to get a grip on yourself. You can do this! He's big and he's mean and shit, but that doesn't mean you can't take him down! You survived a cereal killer holding you captive for fourteen days! You survived that earthquake and the flood and all those other NATURAL disasters because your parents kept moving the wrong neighborhoods. You even survived when one guy you thought was cute didn't ask you out. You've survived many, many, awful, terrible things and you have a totally tragic past, but you CAN get through this! You just have to have faith in yourself. Like your dad told you to just before he got eaten by that bear RIGHT in front of you! So buck up and DO this!" 

But before she could finish her inner monologue, the bell rang and Brock charged at her like an angry bull, looking really angry and upset. 

Gulping, Sparkleshine jumped out of the way, which made him hit that corner post thingie really hard. That's when she realized, "I'm smaller than him and I'm faster than him. So, that gives me an advantage, being smaller and faster! Got this!" 

She went to the center of the ring and bounced on the balls of her feet and all, to show she was totally prepared. And when he came at her, she dodged out of his way and because he was so big and bull like, he flew right past her into one of the other corner post thingies. 

This is almost fun! she thought, thinking that this was almost fun! 

She kept playing the same trick on him, making him run into all the corner post thingies. He kept getting madder and madder, then he finally caught her and threw her to the ground as if she was nothing but a rag doll. She fell on her back and wanted to cry, but she wouldn't. She had lived through seeing her father eaten by a bear, she'd live through this. Instead she looked up at Brock, her sparkly green eyes limpid pools of emerald, like someone had taken real emeralds and melted them and made eyeballs out of them. She batted her lashes at Brock.

For a moment, Brock was all confused and shit, because she was so pretty and Brock thought maybe she was one of those weird chicks who liked pain and she was flirting with him because he'd put the hurt on her. So he paused thinking that maybe instead of fighting her, he should like ask her out and all, cause she was so pretty he forgot he was married. 

That was all Sparkleshine needed. She leaped to her feet and started kicking on him, remembering she had that black belt in Ninjutsu (It's real, Google it) In all the excitement, she had forgotten about that, so she began powering through. Knowing she was smaller and quicker, she used that to her advantage as she kept taking shots at him and then using her many years of ballet training to dance out of his way.

"I've never seen anyone fight like that!" Jerry (The King) Lawler called out.

"Me either!" Michael Cole exclaimed his voice all excited. 

"She's impressive as snot!" JBL enthusiastically agreed. The fight was so fantastic that the three announcers forgot that they weren't supposed to always agree on stuff. "Look at her GO!"

Brock was trying to keep up with her, but she was so fast and powerful he was having a lot of trouble with that, with him being not nearly as fast and as he was finding out, not nearly as powerful. 

But, he did finally get her trapped in the corner and things looked pretty bad. Roman was standing by the ring, chewing his fingernails he was so nervous. "What if he hurts her so bad she goes into a horrible coma and never wakes up?" he said to Seth. "I might NEVER get a chance to show her how magnificently Smexy I can be!" 

"Yeah," Seth said all sad and frowny, so he looked like a sad ferret. "I'll NEVER get the chance to tell her she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." 

"I'll NEVER get the chance to shoot her dog," Dean said, cause again, he's a lunatic. 

"And NONE of us will get the chance to help her get over her HORIBLE TRAGIC PAST," Roman said, mournfully.

"Wow, you guys are pathetic and STUPID!" Punk exclaimed angrily. He had walked down the ramp to get closer to the fight. "She doesn't need your pity, you STUPID A-HOLES!" his voice got angrier and angrier. "She needs your SUPPORT! GOD, do I have to tell you EVERYTHING?" 

"He's right!" Seth said, brightening and feeling all optimistic and stuff thanks to Punk's words. "Let's show her we BELIEVE in her!" (You know, like Believe in the Shield?)

"Yeah!" Roman agreed. "Let's cheer for her! 

"Let's shoot her dog!" Dean chimed in.

"I think you need to get Dean some medication," Punk muttered, shaking his head. 

"Later," Roman agreed agreeable. "First, let's show Sparkleshine our support!" And they all started cheering for her. "SPARK- KLE-SHINE! SPARK-KLE-SHINE!" The four men started shouting, even Punk, because even though he thought Sparkleshine was a total hunormous megababe, he was married to AJ and he loves her. "U CAN DO IT, SPARK-KLE-SHINE!" 

A bunch of cutie guys and their stupid UGGO girlfriends in the front areas hear them and started up the chant too. "SPARK- KLE-SHINE! SPARK-KLE-SHINE! U CAN DO IT, SPARK-KLE-SHINE!" 

People in the six rows behind them heard and started saying it too. "SPARK- KLE-SHINE! SPARK-KLE-SHINE! U CAN DO IT, SPARK-KLE-SHINE!" 

Even more rows heard it and started loudly screaming, "SPARK- KLE-SHINE! SPARK-KLE-SHINE! U CAN DO IT, SPARK-KLE-SHINE!" 

And each section got louder and louder, even up to the real cheapo seats, and even though people up there were usually not as cheerish as the ones in the better seats, they even picked up on it. All the wrestlers picked up on it and all the Divas, even the jealous ones. Soon every single person in the place, even the folks that had gone to the bathroom because they couldn't hold it anymore and were dumb enough NOT to go during the Diva match, like everyone ELSE does, were all shouting, "SPARK- KLE-SHINE! SPARK-KLE-SHINE! U CAN DO IT, SPARK-KLE-SHINE!" 

Security joined in and the announcers and the people running the concession stand and the guys that ran the parking lot, soon everyone, even the cleaning crew were all shouting like one beautiful, united, awesomest chant, "SPARK- KLE-SHINE! SPARK-KLE-SHINE! U CAN DO IT, SPARK-KLE-SHINE!" 

Through her haze of pain because Brock had punched her in the throat and it hurt so bad, Sparkleshine heard them. 'I can't lose now!' she thought. "They're all chanting for me! If I lose now, I will let them down and their lives will be ruined because they believed in me and I failed them. People just don't get over that crap. So I'd better win! For Shield! For the WWE! For all the ORDINARY LESS ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE who are COUNTING on me to make their lives worth while! FOR MY DAD, TOO!" 

Thinking fast, she brought her knee up. She meant to only graze him in the thigh, but she got him right in the nummies instead. His eyes crossed and he staggered backwards and fell down on his back. If it had been a cartoon instead of real life, you would have seen little birds chirping around his head. Even though Sparkleshine's throat hurt wicked bad, and she had other pains from other damages he'd caused her, she fell on top of him. The referee came running over and screamed, "ONE TWO THREE!" 

Sparkleshine had won! 

The referee grabbed her, hauling her up on her beautiful tanned legs. This pretty blond chick (not as pretty as u-know-who though) got in the ring with a microphone and said, "Your winner and the new WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, SPARKLESHINE SUE SUGAR!" 

The cheering was deafening. The Shield BROS ran in the ring and threw their arms around her, telling her how great she was. And their hugs made Sparkleshine feel all good inside like she was part of a rainbow sundae with an extra helping of glittersauce. Punk wanted to hug her too, but he was afraid he'd get bad ideas, so he went over and hugged AJ instead. And AJ was grateful to Sparkleshine for that. 

"You were great!" Roman whispered in her ear, sexily.

"You were SO great!" Seth whispered in her other ear, not as sexily, but he still sounded pretty good.

"I REALLY want to shoot your dog now," Dean said. And he was grinning which made him look so damned cute that Sparkleshine didn't even mind that he kept talking about shooting a dog she didn't have. But she did agree with Punk that maybe some medication was in order for Dean. 

They brought the belt over and she started to grab it then stopped. This next part was going to be really really hard because her throat was REALLY in pain and she was all sore from the damages Brock had done to her beautiful, beautiful, self. "NO!" She bellowed, really, really, loudly. 

Everyone just shut the eff up, they were in so much surprise. No? Over the BELT? NO ONE said no to the belt. The belt was like what everyone wanted and she was saying no? To the BELT? Maybe SHE was crazier than Dean! I mean, it was pretty obvious she wasn't, but maybe Lesnar had knocked her brain stuff around and gave her a CONCLUSION. 

She coughed all weakly. Someone came over with a microphone so she wouldn't strain her voice. "Let Lesnar keep the belt. I want something more IMPORTANT!" She looked at Triple H who was frowning, even though he knew what she was going to say. He had to play it up. 

"And what's that?" Triple H asked questioningly. "What would ANYONE want more than The. WWE. WORLD. HEAVYWEIGHT. TITLE?"

"I want to be a member of Shield!" Sparkleshine declared. "I've learned that FRIENDSHIP is more important than BELTS and shit. These guys are like the bestest friends I've ever had. So, I want to be the ONLY female and fourth member of the formerly three member and all male team of Shield."

"Instead of the belt?" Triple H said, pretending to be all shocked, even thou this was PART of the SHOW and he already knew about it. 

"Yeah," Sparkleshine said. "INSTEAD of the BELT!" 

"That would be, like MEGA TOT' TRILL!" Seth screamed loudly, dancing with joy.

"Please?" Roman asked, looking at Triple H with puppy dog eyes. 

"Stop it with the PUPPY DOG eyes," Dean whispered all hissy in Roman's sexy, sexy, ear. "Or I'll want to SHOOT you, and that would suck badly." But to Triple H he said, "Pretty please? She belongs with us! We've like BONDED with her! Like when DUCKS hatch, the first person they see, they think is their mother. Not that we think Sparkleshine is like a mother, cause then we'd be SICKO PERVERTS for what we're thinking we'd like to DO to her. I mean it's just THAT STRONG how much we LURVE and NEED her!" 

Triple H pretended to think then finally nodded. "All right," he said. "But you'll have to wear black, Sparkleshine. It's pretty clear these guys will do anything you say, but Shield won't look NEARLY as tough if everyone wears pink or purple." But he smiled all smiley and stuff to Sparkleshine, 'cause she looked so cute surrounded by all that male hotness. Unlike other girls who would get LOST in that hotness, all their hotness just made her look even hotter still! 

"Aw," Sparkleshine said, pretending to be all disappointed and stuff. "Well, that's okay, I'll just make sure my shield outfit has some pretty pink trim or something!" And everyone laughed and laughed because Sparkleshine could make anyone laugh if she WANTED it hard enough. And everyone always laughed WITH her never AT her. 

And that's how Sparkleshine joined Shield! YAY! 

End of Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Author's Notes: Sparkleshine is NOT a Sue. Okay? Why do people SAY that about her. Can I HELP it if I'm just SO GOOD at WRITING that MY characters just SEEM perfect? I mean, I gave her all these FLAWS and stuff, she CAN'T be a SUE!_
> 
> _And from NOW ON I will be NOTIFIED of ANON reviews and I will BLOCK THEM if they are MEAN to me. I have a right to write how I WANT to and I CAN USE ALL THE CAPS I WANT BECAUSE I LIVE IN AMERICA AND IN AMERICA YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WHENEVER YOU WANT TO AS LONG AS IT'S NOT ILLEGAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_
> 
> _And for those who said Sparkleshine was mean? Well, UP YOURS. You wait until the NEXT chapter, because Sparkleshine is going to do NICE THINGS and show that even though she has this HORRIBLE TRAGIC PAST she can STILL be COMPASIONATE. Something SOME of YOU could learn._
> 
> _But to all you NICE, COOL and SPARKLY people who wrote NICE Things? I LOVE YOU! I send GLITTERHUGS out to you! Like Chris J! You are THE COOLEST! and Nichole too! Love ya, Girlfriend!_
> 
> For all of you who CARE? Chapter Four will be OUT SOON I PROMISE! And it's going to be called Chapter Four - Sparkleshine helps SETH and her BESTIEBEST! Yeah, that's for YOU all you people who said Sparkleshine is a SPOILED BRAT. SHE IS NOT!!!!!!
> 
> **Real Author's Notes: Wow, I'm amazed at how much some of you are enjoying this. I'll do my best to add to it, as long as I can keep channeling my inner pissed off teenager girl. Keep the reviews coming, some of them are funnier than the story!**


	4. Sparkelshine helps Seth and her Bestie,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparkleshine proves to all of you, that she is COMPASSIONATE because she helps SETH the LEAST HOTTEST guy in The Shield, and her Bestie. So there!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer Like, my guys Deanie, Romie and Sethie are like not really mine (though they should be, 'cause I just love me some Shield!) So, don't sue me! Okay? And in this story, Shield never broke up 'cause that gave me a big sad and so I'm IGNORING THAT BREAK UP AND YOU SHOULD TOO WHEN YOU READ THIS! I changed some others stuff too, but I'm saving that for a SURPISE 'cause everyone loves a SURPRISE! 
> 
> Sparkleshine Sue Sugar is mine thou, so don't steal her! Even thou you'll want to, 'cause she's so AWESOME! LOLLOLLOL! AND THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO SAID NICE THINGS TO ME! You're all the BESTEST, but ESPECIALLY CUTIEPIE! This chapter is for you! LOLROFL! 
> 
> And I'm trying not to write in caps as much, okay? So give me a BRAKE!

So the show ended and everyone was happy, especially Shield because they now had the hottest babe evah in their group. They didn't realize it, but deep down they had always suspected there was something horribly wrong, but they hadn't known how to fix it. There had even been rumors that Shield was going to break up because Seth would betray them. But now no one would dream of breaking them up, because Sparkleshine had joined them and breaking them up would be really stupid. 

So, everyone had lots of happiness and joy and stuff. And THE THREE BOIS FROM SHIELD and their new, breathtakingly beautiful female member of their formerly three member and all male team were grinning. And people just stared at them as they walked by, because you could just tell they were all meant to be together as a team. There were some fans backstage who of course all wanted to hang out with The new and improved SHIELD, which was a little annoying, because Sparkleshine really wanted to change her outfit, cause she'd sweat in the old one. But, when you're the biggest SUPERSTARS on the whole rooster you have to put up with this stuff. So they signed autographs and were really nice to some sick kids, because Sparkleshine had a lot of compassion for sick kids. She had a sick third cousin once, who was so sick she died, which really bummed Sparkleshine out for a long time, which had helped to add to her terrible tragic past and all. 

But, when everything ended and the sick kids were gone as well as the other fans (who were all thrilled and happy and stuff that Sparkleshine had joined The Shield and said so all night, several times, even) Sparkleshine went to change so they could go to Waffle House because Sparkleshine loved their peanut butter waffles so much she didn't even use syrup on them, she just ate them plain, with just a little bit of that butter spread fake stuff on it. 

She came out of her own private dressing/locker room (cause Vince and Triple H and even Stephanie were worried that the jealous divas would try to attack her and while Sparkleshine could have taken them out like *Snaps fingers* it still would be annoying and she might accidentally kill one of those other Diva's) wearing a really cute outfit. She had these really distressed jeans she got at GoJane. But she had added sparkly rhinestones and stuff so they were so much prettier than when she bought them. She had on awesome pretty boots too, they came up to mid calf and were black and had stiletto heels, that were at least 12 inches tall, which is almost a foot! But she walked on them like a dream, because had fantastic balance. Her top was less conservative. It was this really bright, neon pink that would look terrible on most people with alabaster skin, but she pulled it off. It was really tight too, which made her natural double D breasts look even bigger, if that was possible. It was just a plane T-Shirt she got from Pink Ice (I love Pink Ice!) but she had decorated it with all these really pretty purplish colored rhinestones in a design that almost looked like a tribal tattoo, but was a whole lot prettier because it glittered in the light. She had redone her nails with hot pink and glitter purple nail polish so it set off her outfit just perfectly. She wore a denim jacket that she bought on this trendy shop in the city, and it just so happened to be the exact color as her distressed jeans, and she even decorated it with the same glittery stuff as she'd done the jeans, so it looked like a perfectly coordinated outfit that cost tons more money than it had. Over her shoulder was just the cutest Rebecca Minkoff Crossbody Mini Mac handbag in this pale pink color. She hadn't had the chance to decorate it with sparkles yet, but she would soon. But, it was pretty enough for now. 

"Wow, you look pretty!" Roman said, unable to take his eyes off of her cause she just looked so pretty. 

"We must be the luckiest guys in the whole WWE universe!" Seth said, pumping his fists in a triumphant manner, even though he hadn't really done anything, it was Sparkleshine that had changed into the really nice cloths. "We are going to the Waffle House with the hottest babe in the world!" 

"Yeah!" Dean was in a very happy, agreeable mood, so he agreed with his brothers. He also walked a little bit behind them as they headed for the door. He claimed it was because all three of them couldn't walk down the hall side by each, but it was really so he could look at Sparkleshine's butt, which looked really hot in those jeans. 'Boy, those jeans make her ass look hawt!' he thought. And Sparkleshine at that moment, decided to look over her shoulder and smile at him. It was probably just a coincident, but you never know, maybe Sparkleshine had MENTAL POWERS and could read his mind. 

They got to the rental car and there was a big fight over who would drive because of course Sparkleshine would get to ride shot gun and so whoever drove would get to sit closest to her. Sparkleshine got in the car and while they argued, she put on fresh lipstick. A light purple lipstick because it was night time. She checked her raven locks and realized that of course they still looked perfect. Then she got really bored 'cause they were still arguing. Finally she rolled down the window. "Roman, you can drive us to the Waffle House, then Seth can drive us from the Waffle House to the hotel. Is that fair?" 

"What about ME?" Dean cried out, distressed. He was totally upset that he wouldn't get to show her he had mad driving skilz. 

"I don't know if you're COOL enough to drive," Sparkleshine remarked, not wanting to be mean, but knowing that sometimes the truth needed to be told. But she decided to soften the blow. "But, if you want, you can put your hand on my shoulder once in awhile." 

"That sounds fair!" Dean exclaimed enthusiastically. 

So, they got into the rental car, a big, luxurious SUV with all the bells and whistles and these really comfortable heated leather seats. As Roman drove to the closest Waffle House, Sparkleshine found a good radio station. They happened to be playing her favorite Katy Perry song (her music is the best!) and they all sang along until they got to the Waffle House. Dean was cool and didn't get her hair all mussy, even though he kept his hand on her shoulder Way. Too. Much. But, she didn't mind because Dean was a hottie and if she hadn't had such a horrible tragic past, she might have dated him. Or Roman, she wasn't sure. Probably not Seth though, because even though in this reality he would never betray Shield, there was something Sparkleshine just sensed about him. She was very intuitive like that. She has empathy and stuff so she can tell what people are thinking and how their feelings work. But still, Sethie was hot enough that maybe she could fix him up with one of her ZILLION friends. 

'Hm, she thought, thinking as she got out of the car, deep in thought. 'Maybe I can fix him up with one of my besties? One of them that doesn't have my curse of empathy and shit.' She felt in her handbag, her long, graceful perfectly manicured hand touching on her Iphone Princess Plus, a gift she got from a rich model dude she dated for a couple weeks until she realized her HORRIBLE TRAGIC PAST was messing it up. But he had bought her the phone after the second date (No! She did not sleep with him! God, I wouldn't make Sparkleshine a ho!) and even though she tried to give it back, he wouldn't hear of it. She liked it cause it was all covered with real diamonds. It was the 9th most expensive phone in the world. "Keep the phone my Sparkling Angle," he told her when she told him it just wasn't going to work. "And perhaps some time you will make a phone call and think of me and the love I feel for you in my heart of harts." 

"Cool, I will," she had said, being very polite. In truth, she didn't think about him that much. So it was good she was now, because it meant she was keeping her promise. 

So, they went into Waffle House and everyone looked up from their hash browns and went, "Wow! It's Sparkleshine!" cause they all saw her on TV, early. Well, at least all the cool people who watched wrestling. Screw the ones who didn't, they weren't worth it. 

"Yeah, but we need to eat waffles, cause we're really hungry," Sparkleshine said, before people could get all close and touchy-feely. She understood that you had to make the fans happy, but for god's sake, this was WAFFLE TIME. And she could almost taste that delicious peanut butter waffle. 

They sat down at a booth (there are no tables at Waffle House. Isn't that weird? There are booths and counter space but no tables) and there was a huge fight over who would get to sit next to her. Sparkleshine settled it by letting Dean. It was only fair since Dean wasn't allowed to drive. But this meant their thighs got to touch and that was getting her kind of hot and bothered. He had nice, rock hard thighs. She did too, but she was used to her own thighs and they didn't get her hot and bothered. 

Roman and Seth were a little bit bummed out because sitting next to her while driving was okay, but sitting next to her in a smaller booth was much cooler. But, they didn't want to piss her off, so they decided to suck it up. And this way they could LOOK at her FACE and ADMIRE her BEAUTY which was really good for them. 

She ordered the All Star Breakfast and had them upgrade the Waffle to the peanut butter one. And on top of that she ordered an extra peanut butter waffle. "I hope you don't mind," she said, taking a sip of her Coke with a shot of cherry and a shot of vanilla syrup in it. (hey, those syrup shots are free, so I always get two or three!) "I know I eat a lot, but I have this major active metabolism and plus I work out all the time so like I just never gain weight." 

"You're lucky," Roman said. And Dean and Seth agreed with him.

While they ate, she pulled out her Iphone Princess Plus and sent a text off to her bestie:

Wot RU doin?

Her Bestie sent back:

Nuttin'

She texted:

cum 2 d Waffle hows on mAn st.

Bestie typed back:

Y?

Sparkleshine rolled her eyes, but Bestie couldn't see that. But she texted her back: 

U wiL C, jst come!

Bestie texted back: 

wot shud I wear?

Sparkleshine rolled her eyes yet again, because as much as she loved her bestiebest, she was a little annoyed that she was always having to think for her. 

Wear somTIN supa sexy, bt not slutty.

Bestie texts back: 

k. c U s%n xoxoxoxoxo

Sparkleshine put her phone back in her purse. "Is everything okay?" Roman asked because he's all caring and shit. 

"Everything is fine," Sparkleshine said. "You will see."

A few minutes later, one of those cute little Fiats pulled up. This one had custom neon green paint and hot pink rims. Some rockin' Maroon 5 song is blaring out of the loudspeakers. Everyone in the Waffle House looks out of those big front windows they have. They think the car is trig! Even Dean nods. "That car is pretty trig!"

"Wow" Seth says, craning his neck to see the car. "That's the type of car a real hottie would drive." 

Sparkleshine smiled, but to herself, because she KNOWS what this is all about. But they don't know yet, and since she only smiled to HERSELF, they can't figure it out by LOOKING at her. 

A girl with a hot bod got out of the car. But it's dark, so you couldn't see her well. But then the door to the Waffle House opened and she walked in the place. She was tall and pretty. Not as pretty as Sparkleshine, but ALMOST close. Sparkleshine got up and ran over. They hugged and said a lot of nice things to each other and complimented each others clothes. The new girl loved Sparkleshine's handbag and showed Sparkleshine that she had picked up a Kate Spade bag earlier that day. 

Finally Sparkleshine brought the girl over to the table. "Dean, you move in." Sparkleshine suggested, running over and grabbing on of those chairs they have by the door for people to wait. Yeah, no tables, but they do have chairs. Weird, right? She brought it over to the booth. "Roman, you sit on this."

"Why?" Roman asked. Even though this other chick was a major hottie too, he only had eyes for Sparkleshine. Which made sense, because Sparkleshine is SO hawt! 

"This way then it's like I'll be between you and Dean," Sparkleshine said, wishing he'd catch on to what was happening. "And then my bestie, can sit next to Seth." Sparkleshine leaned over and whispered into Roman's ear, "My bestie who is almost close to as hot as I am, who might be WILLING to go out with Seth?"

"OH!" Roman nodded, catching on, because he realized that this could be Seth's ONE CHANCE and being happy and shit. "Yeah, I'll sit on the chair." 

"Who is your friend who's almost close to as hot as you?" Dean asked. 

"She might be as hot as Sparkleshine," Seth said. 

Normally, that would have pissed Sparkleshine off, because it was such a lie, but in this case she was glad. "This is my bestiebest, bff!" Sparkleshine exclaimed, giving her another huge hug. 

"Hi!" Bestiebest bff said, giving Sparkleshine a hug back and then sitting down next to Seth. She already liked him for thinking she might be as hot as Sparkleshine. It wasn't true and deep in her heart of hearts she knew it, but it showed Seth was interested enough in her to be willing to lie a bit. Which guys should do. No guy should ever admit that anyone else is hotter than their girlfriend. And they should never say her ass looks fat in those skinny jeans. That's just evil and cruel. "I'm CutiePie!"

"Like all one word?" Seth asked. "Or is your first name Cutie and your last name Pie?

"All one word," CutiePie said, moving a little closer to Seth. She didn't have to, because like both of them were not fat so they had plenty of room in the booth, but CutiePie thought Seth was really cute and she wanted to get closer. He felt the same way because he did not move further away from her, if anything he slid a little closer. 

So, she ordered breakfast too. But she got egg whites and plain toast and diet coke. (Totally not her fault that she has to be careful of what she eats, not everyone can have a metabolism like Sparkleshine.) 

"I saw you on Raw tonight," CutiePie said. "I was so scared when you faced Lesnar!"

"So was I!" Sparkleshine agreed. "But deep down I had faith in myself." 

They talked while CutiePie ate. Then they had to go and get some sleep. Seth gave CutiePie tickets for the Smackdown Taping tomorrow, which would be the first appearance of Sparkleshine IN The Shield. So it would be historic. "Please tell me you'll come," Seth asked all puppy dog eyes and stuff. Next to Sparkleshine Dean growled a bit and Sparkleshine started thinking that medication idea was sounding better and better. 

"Of course I will come," CutiePie told him. "You are cute and Sparkleshine loves you like a brother. That's enough for me!" 

"I love her too like a favorite sister," Seth said. "Even though I haven't known her for twelve hours, it's like I've been waiting all my life to meet her."

"Let me guess, you want to do her?" CutiePie asks, a little miffed because this is always happening to her. If Sparkleshine wasn't the most awesome bff in the world, she'd be tempted to stop answering her texts and stuff. 

"I thought I did," Seth said, deciding to be all honest and stuff. "I need to be honest with you. She's hotter than hawt, you know that, right? There is no scale of hotness on which to judge her, right?"

"Yeah." CutiePie looked discouraged and had a lot of sad on her face, like a flower that grows under a bush and can't get enough sun or rain. 

"But," Seth said. "She is almost too much. I know if I were to date her, every time I turned my back guys would be hitting on her. And I'm kinda insecure and that would really get to me after awhile. So, while she is the most beautiful girl the world has ever known, you are more in my league. You're like the SECOND hottest girl in the world."

CutiePie thought about this. Part of her wanted to be mad and shit, but she realized Seth was right. And he wasn't saying she was ugly or nothing. She really was very pretty and had a really, really hot body. She just wasn't in the same league as Sparkleshine, but sometimes that's just the way it was. "Okay," CutiePie said. "As long as you don't think I'm ugg or dog bait or have a butterface, or nothing." 

"Never," Seth said. And he kissed her. No tongue or nothing, but very sweet, on the lips. CutiePie's lips tasted like cherry flavored lipstick. Seth knew from that day forward whenever he tasted cherries, or saw the color red or even saw lips, he would remember that sweet, perfect, romantic little kiss. Yeah, da boi be HOOKED! 

The new Three Guy One Woman Shield went back to their hotel to sleep. CutiePie went to her fab apartment that she could afford because she was a high class model for the real classy places like Bloomies and JC Penny's and she made a THOUSAND dollars an hour. She felt lonely without Seth, but she knew she would see him tomorrow so she didn't have to cry herself to sleep. 

At the hotel, Roman had a terrible time sleeping and so did Dean. They were both lying in bed thinking about Sparkleshine. And they couldn't stop! Both men wanted her so BADLY, but her HORRIBLE TRAGIC PAST seemed to be getting in the way of the Road to Her Hart. They sniffed loudly a lot but when one would ask the other if he was CRYING like a little bitch, the other would always DENY it. They would say stuff like, "It's just ALLERGIES." or, "I can't sniffle? Has it become a crime to sniffle? Are you like, the SNIFFLE POLICE or something?" 

A few rooms away in the luxury suite the WWE was paying for, Sparkleshine was having trouble sleeping too. She thought she would be happy now. She had beaten Brock Lesnar, she was the only female and forth member of the previously all male three member team of the Shield. All her dreams were coming true. 

Except one, maybe the BIGGEST one EVAH

'No!' She told herself, talking very loud and excited in her head. 'You cannot fall in love with Dean or Roman! It isn't fair to them to burden them with your horrible tragic past!' It wasn't fair. None of her horrible tragic past was her fault, but still, she's always the one who has to pay the price. That and the hot guys who fell for her. She felt sorry for the hotties that always fall for her, because they'll NEVER know the truth, that she really does want them, at least to like take her out and buy her nice prezzies and an expensive meal once in awhile. The ugly ones she doesn't feel so bad for, because they really should know she's out of their league anyway, even if she didn't have a HORRIBLE TRAGIC PAST, so, screw the ugly dudes. But the hotties had a right to think they had a chance and sometimes she tried, like with the rich model dude who gave her the Iphone Princess that she loved. But she couldn't even PRETEND with Roman and/or Dean. They had to work together. If she even tried to date one of them and her HORRIBLE TRAGIC PAST came up and stopped it, it would ruin their life. It would ruin the Shield! And none of these guys would ever find work in Wrestling again, because everyone would remember them as the guys that once worked with Sparkshine. 

She hugged her pillow and cried. Outside it began to rain, because when you're that beautiful, and you cry? The world has no CHOICE but to cry with you. 

End of Chapter Four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: Didn't that last line just give you shivers and stuffs? It did for me. God, sometimes I write the most POETIC stuff! Who knows, maybe every time it rains, it IS because somewhere in the world, a really HOT girl is crying? It would make SENSE wouldn't it? I hope you liked this, Cutiepie! Sorry I didn't make you AS hot as Sparkleshine, but I thought that would make the story UNREALISTIC having TWO such equally HOT girls in it. And besides SETHIE thinks UR SUPER HAWT! 
> 
> I'm not getting enough GOOD REVIEWS so I'm not posting ANOTHER CHAPTER until I get ELEVENTY BAZILLION REVIEWS and NO BAD ONES. I think it's the LEAST people can do for me. So, if you want to see more, I need ELEVENTY BAZILLION REVIEWS!
> 
>  
> 
> **Real Author's notes: No, I'm not going to wait for eleventy bazillion reviews. Eleven million will do just fine :D. Okay, seriously? I love the reviews for this story so keep them coming. I'll do my best to update whenever I can tap into my irritable, annoying, overly dramatic teenage girl.**


	5. Put Cool Chapter Name Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparkleshine finds out things about wrestling she didn't want to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer Like, my guys Deanie, Romie and Sethie are like not really mine (though they should be, 'cause I just love me some Shield!) So, don't sue me! Okay? And in this story, Shield never broke up 'cause that gave me a big sad and so I'm IGNORING THAT BREAK UP AND YOU SHOULD TOO WHEN YOU READ THIS! I changed some others stuff too, but I'm saving that for a SURPISE 'cause everyone loves a SURPRISE! 
> 
> Sparkleshine Sue Sugar is mine thou, so don't steal her! Even thou you'll want to, 'cause she's so AWESOME! LOLLOLLOL!

So, the next day Sparkleshine woke up in her AWESOME LUXURIOUS hotel sweet. In her big huge bathroom, she found a lovely gift basket of LUSH products, courtesy of the hotel, because she TOLD them at the desk she didn't believe in Animal Testing, so they got her the LUSH basket. She was happy because she loved animals, well at least the cute ones, and that's the type they tested this kind of shit on, like bunny rabbits. She didn't care much about the ugly ones like cows or pigs or chickens. She knew they had been bred to be ugly so people wouldn't feel bad about eating them. Fish too. God made fish ugly so people would know they were for eating. And look what people did with it! They made Sushi with fish and Sushi was really PRETTY, so these fish were probably GRATEFUL. 

She showered and used her LUSH products then she got dressed. They had to film Smackdown tonight but that was no excuse to not wear hot clothes now. She put on a really cute denim skirt that had flounces. But it was really really short so she put on these ultra cute white things that were kind of like leggings and kind of like tighter. Teggins? with little sparkly tiny glittery gem like things. And some really cute strappy sandals, because strappy sandals are SO cute and these were Gucci ones that cost over seven hundred bucks, but that was okay, because they were fuchsia, which is an ELEGANT way of saying hot pink. She put on a really cute top too. It was FUCHSIA too, just like her shoes. But she had decorated it with a ZILLION sparkly gemstones so it was CLASSY and ELEGANT. 

She met up with THE BOIS FROM SHIELD in the REALLY CLASSY restaurant in the hotel. It was so classy that even though it was BREAKFAST they had TABLE CLOTHS and CLOTH NAPKINS. Her boys were already there. Seth was drinking what looked like a chocolate milk shake, but was probably some stupid healthy drink made of protein and sand. Roman and Dean were drinking coffee like NORMAL people. 

"SPARKLESHINE!" All three shouted when they saw her. They had looked kind of grumpy but now they had nothing but smiles and sparkly, happy, eyes. 

"Did you sleep well, beautiful, beautiful, Sparkleshine?" Roman asked.

"Yes," Sparkleshine said, but she was lying because she had cryed so much. But she was able to fool them because she was one of those people who could CRY all NIGHT and NOT look like she did in the morning. In fact, she looked JUST as mega hot as she ALWAYS did.

"I love your shoes!" Dean exclaimed all excited. 

"Thanks!" Sparkleshine said, flipping her Chestnut colored hair off her shoulders. She gave Dean an extra bright smile, just for him. She did just love a man who appreciated GOOD SHOES. 

They ate a FANCY breakfast. Sparkleshine had that egg dish with the sauce on it, and a waffle and even though the waffle wasn't as good as the peanut butter ones at Waffle House, she had real blueberries on it and whipped cream, so that wasn't bad. Roman had eggs and ham. Seth had some stupid healthy granola type shit, but I suspect he just eats that way to show off how much better he is than everyone else. Dean had Coco Krispies, cause that boi LOVE HIM some cereal. He got that chocolate 'stash again, which made him look SO cute! 

After they ate they changed into workout gear and all hit the gym because they were AWESOME WRESTLERS and had to STAY IN SHAPE! They worked out for a long time, like almost a WHOLE HOUR. Roman actually worked out almost TWO WHOLE HOURS but he has to stay in ultra mega smexy shape, so he doesn't get like his brother Rosey, who really ought to lay off the pie, if you get my meaning. 

Then they had to go back to the hotel, so Sparkleshine could change into another outfit. She put on these EVER so CUTE pink Capri pants and a matching top. Since this outfit was light pink, and her sandals were fuchsia, she had to change instead into one of her other pairs of strappy sandals, but they were just as cute, the heels just as high, and just as expensive. She touched up her makeup (Not that she NEEDED makeup. At the most all she REALLY needed was a little pink lip gloss) and ran a brush through her pink dyed hair that matched her outfit PERFECTLY. She really was beautiful!

When they got to the arena, security let Sparkleshine know that HHH and Vince needed to see her RIGHT AWAY. "Sparkleshine," they said, all serious. "HHH and Vince need to see you RIGHT AWAY." 

"Okay," Sparkleshine said, and looked at her BOIS. "What do you suppose he wants?

"I do not know," Roman said, his eyes lingering on her, admiring her beauty. "But he wants to see you RIGHT AWAY so maybe you should go and find him." 

"Do you want us to go with you?" Dean questioningly asked, wanting to reach out and touch a lock of her PERFECT red hair that looked like a FLAMING SUNSET. 

"No," Sparkleshine said, firmly. "I GOT this." And she strode down the hall in a determined fashion, her heels making those determined sounding clicky-click noises that tells the world DON'T 'EFF WITH ME. 

 

She found Vince and HHH in an office. When she walked in, both men jumped to their feet as if their butts were on fire. But they wern't, they were just so overcome by her beauty that they felt they HAD to stand up and TAKE NOTICE.

"You wanted to see me?" Sparkleshine asked questioningly.

"Of course we did!" Vince excitedly exclaimed, then went on to ask, "Who WOULDN'T want to see you?"

"That's a theoretic question, ISN'T it?" Sparkleshine asked back. 

"Yeah," Vince admitted. "But it just makes my day to see your bright, smiling face come into this drab office."

"Yeah, I know," Sparkleshine said, "Everyone says that. But you wanted to see me."

"OF COURSE!" Vince thundered. "EVERYONE wants to see you!"

HHH shook his head looking very sad. "Don't mind him, Sparkleshine. He is just SENILE." He looked at Vince. "We ASKED to see her, REMEMBER?"

Vince got a frowny face so deep his forehead wrinkled up like one of those cute little sharpie dogs, but it wasn't nearly as cute on an old dude. Then, he smiled as he remembered. "Yes, we wanted to talk to you!"

"About what?" Sparkleshine asked.

"What about what?" Vince asked, looking all confused again. It was really sad.

"Vince, why don't I handle this," HHH said, his voice all filled with compassion cause he felt REALLY SORRY for the guy. 

Sparkleshine didn't feel as bad for Vince. Yeah, it was ROUGH getting SENILE, but at least with this, he wouldn't remember how OLD and shit he was all the time, which would make him sad. "So, what's up?" she asked questioningly. Then she said, "I don't want to be RUDE or nothing, but like, my TIME is VALUABLE!" 

"Of course it is!" HHH said, in a tone of voice that was excited, but not really excited. Just excited enough that an exclamation point was needed. 

As it turned out, BILLIONS of people had seen Sparkleshine last night beat Brock Lesnar. Even though her appearance had been a suprise, everyone called their friends when they first saw her, even their STUPID friend who didn't watch wrestling and told them to watch. They did and they called two friends who called two friends and quickly, that adds up to a hell of a lot of people. 

"Isn't that what you want?" Sparkleshine asked, rolling her eyes. "I know how this works. The more people who watch, the more people see the commercials, even the stupid ones. Then the more stupid stuff like trucks and cheapo hair care products are bought and that makes everyone money."

HHH was impressed. "I'm impressed," he said, "You have a good head for business."

"Of course." 

The fact that the last ten minutes or so of last night's RAW was THE HIGHEST RATED SHOW EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION wasn't a problem. The problem was that she had beat Brock Lesnar.

"But I had to beat Brock!" Sparkleshine cried, all upset. "That was how I could join Sheild."

"I know that," Vince said. "But some folks didn't believe you could beat him. They are now saying that we let you win because you are so awesome." 

"You mean they are saying wrestling is FAKE?" Sparkleshine was HORRIFIED. People had told her wrestling was fake before. They had said to her things like, 'You know wrestling is fake, right?' Usually she would roll her eyes, but sometimes she had to resort to telling them to fuck off. Or she used to, back when she used the word fuck a lot. But now that she was all ladylike and shit, she didn't use that word. 

"Yes," Vince said, nodding too, just to REALLY make his point.

"So what do we do?" Sparkleshine asked. She wanted to frown and look all worried, but she was afraid that might give her frowny lines on her face and no way was she going to risk that.

"We think you should fight Brock again tonight," HHH said. 

"I thought Brock was hardly ever on TV?" Sparkleshine questioned.

"Yes, but he's willing to be on Smackdown if it means he can see you again," Vince said. 

"Is he crushing on me?" Sparkleshine rolled her eyes. This was ALWAYS happening to her.

"Maybe," Vince said, shrugging his shoulders. "But, we want you to fight him again. And lose this time."

"Wait a moment," Sparkleshine said, rasing a finger in the air as if to say, 'wait a moment.' "Are you saying that I should prove wrestling isn't fake by deliberately losing a fight?"

"Yes!" Vince exclaimed. "That's it EXACTLY."

Sparkleshine jumped to her feet feeling very emotional. "This is making me ALL EMOTIONAL!" She cried out. "I need time to THINK!" 

Before they could say anything, she ran out of the room, a perfect tear rolling down her face.

What EVER would she DO? 

 

End of Chapter Five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: I got a mean review, so I'm in a BAD MOOD. 
> 
> **Real Author's Notes: No I'm not. But I don't think this story is going to go on much longer, it hurts my brain.**


	6. Oh Yeah?  Take That!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting a bad review on FFnet, the author decides to get her revenge, thus ignoring the plot she set up in the last chapter and in general, indulging in more bad writing.

Bye the time it was time to film Smackdown, Sparkleshine still didn't know what she was going to do! She did know that she was sad! But she pushed all that sad behind her, because the most important thing in the world was the show and she knew it. 

Of course Sparkleshine and Shield were the MAIN EVENT, what else could they be. All night through all the boring and stupid matches, the announcers kept saying, "Yes, Sparkleshine and THE BOIS OF SHIELD will be on the show, relax, people, just relax. Because all day that's all anyone could talk about on twitter. And everyone's signs at the show said really nice things about Sparkleshine. Like "U R THE COOLEST, SPARKLESHINE!" and "MARRY ME SPARKLESHINE!" and "SPARKLESHINE is THE PRETTIEST MEMBER OF SHIELD!" One sign even said that Sparkleshine had prettier hair than ROMAN. So, Roman sneaked down took that sign from them and beat them over the head and shoulders with it. Roman could be really touchy about his hair. When Sparkleshine saw this, she laughed, because the sign was true, her sunshine yellow hair was prettier than Roman's. Just slightly, but better is better.

So, other events happened and they were pretty boring. The only thing that was sort of interesting was that Nattie came out and fought the pale chick. And she won, which she should, because she's prettier than pale Page. I think the Twins were right to try to give Page a tan, Page looks like a vampire and everyone knows that ONLY FREAKS like Vampires. Especially the TWILIGHT vampires, that sparkle. Vampires don't sparkle, vampires are icky and stupid. When Sparkleshine watched this back stage she made a mental note in her head to tell Vince and HHH to order Page to go to a spray tan place. And to tell her she couldn't wear black anymore, because Sparkleshine's new ring gear to be in Shield was black so none of those other divas should be allowed to wear black. 

Punk came out and had a match with someone who doesn't matter because Punk won. AJ came running out after he won and threw her arms around him and they kissed and it was SO romantic! Because they are TOTALLY IN LOVE! The audience was just filled with aww, over it. 

There was a bunch of commercials for stupid things, including Olive Garden. But Olive Garden isn't nearly as good as it used to be, so they should take that money they spend on stupid ads and use it to make their food better. Even the bread sticks aren't what they used to be. But when they got back from the commercials, Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar were in the ring, Brock shifting from foot to foot, trying to look all tough and angry, but every once in awhile, a grin would sneak on his ugly face as he thought that he would soon see Sparkleshine. 

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NAME IS PAUL HEYMAN!" Walrus Man began, because again, that phobia of his. "AND I AM THE ADVOCATE FOR THE BEAST INCARNATE, BAAARRRRROOOOCCCCCKKKKK LLLLLLLEEESSSSSSNAAAAAAAAR!" He started to say some other things, but the people running the show decided he was just too boring so suddenly the loudspeakers echoed with:

SIERRA!   
HOTEL  
INDIA  
ECHO  
LIMA  
DELTA!

SHIELD! 

And the NEW AND IMPROVED SHIELD, now with SPARKLESHINE had to scramble to get to the door to come down through the crowd because they thought they had a little more time. 

Dean and Seth came down one side and Roman and Sparkleshine went down the other. Sparkleshine's BRAND NEW ring gear was awesome. She was wearing black shorts, but they had glitter in them. And pretty pink rhinestones that spelled out Sparkleshine around her butt, which looked HAWT. Above she wore something that looked like a cross between a vest and a sports bra, also in glittery black. Her boots were just to die for, sparkly black with shiny pink laces. She looked so put together. 

When they were right at the barrier, Seth gave a quick wave and nod to CutiePie, because she was there and she looked really hot too. Seth wondered if he was falling for her. 'I wonder if I'm falling for her,' he thought to himself.

They got in the ring, and Brock forgot he was the BEAST INCARNAT and ran over to hug Sparkleshine, which made the audience all surprised and stuff. "BROCK!" Sparkleshine hissed in her ear, "You can't hug me! We're supposed to be all angry and stuff at each other."

"Oh crap, I forgot!" Brock said, so he pretended the hug was an excuse to lift her up. He lifted her up and made like he was going to throw her to the floor. Dean and Roman rushed forward all surprised and stuff and stopped him, Dean kicking Brock in the small of his back so he dropped her and Roman catching her as if she was light as a feather, Sparkleshine landing in his arms.

"This feels good, babygirl," Roman said, holding her just a little longer than he should, because it felt so good to have her in his arms.

"Roman..." Sparkleshine said, her voice all filled with both husky turned on tones and sorrow. "We have to do the show."

"I know," Roman said, and a tear, one perfect tear like a sparkling diamond made out of tear-juice rolled down his cheek in a really DRAMATIC fashion. He put her down gently, as if she were made of some beautiful and expensive type of glass. Then he brushed a stray lock of her white blonde hair out of her eyes. The audience got mushy for a second and more "awwwws!" filled the arena. 

The pretty blond chick was in the ring, and just as she was start to announcing all that boring stuff, like height and weights and all of that, the song Who Let The Dogs Out (stupidest song EVAH) started playing. Everyone looked up to the ramp, wondering what the hell was going on.

'What's going on?' Roman wondered.

'What's going on?' Seth thought. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Paul Heyman bellowed, "My name is Paul Heyman, and my client, BAAARRROOCCCKKKK LESSSNARRRRRR and I were wondering, "What the hell is going on?" 

'I don't care who let the dogs out,' Dean though. 'I just want to shoot them.' 

But Sparkleshine knew! Deep in her heart she knew! So she wasn't too surprised when the ugliest person to walk on the planet, possibly the ugliest person to walk in ANY planet EVER came to the end of the ramp and just snorted like a bull.

"So, Twilightlover!" Sparkleshine called out, her voice amazingly calm considering that this was the ugliest person EVER staring at her. "We meet again!"

"Ew!" Roman turned away. "This Twilightlover is so MAGNIFICENTLY ugly that I can't even LOOK at them!"

Seth leaped out of the ring to make sure CutiePie was all right, that this DISGUSTING thing hadn't like burned out her eyeballs or something. But CutiePie had wisely pulled out a pair of Gucci Gold plated Avatar sunglasses and put them on, which helped a lot. "Thank you for being worried about me," CutiePie said, and gave Seth a quick kiss.

Seth turned all red and stuffs, because CutiePie kissed him. "I just was WORRIED," he said. "But if you're okay, I should go back and stand with my friends against this vicious monster." 

"Cool, you do that," CutiePie agreed because she was a very agreeable person. Unless you wronged her, then she'd take you OUT. But right now, no one was wronging her, so she was agreeable. And very cool, too. Seth grinned to her and then jumped back in the ring.

"So, here you are AGAIN, Sparkleshine!" Twilightlover bellowed. "TYPICAL of you!"

"I could say the SAME thing about YOU!" Sparkleshine shouted back. "You ugly TROLL!" And yeah, that was mean for Sparkleshine to say, but Twilightlover really was ugly. First, you couldn't tell if it was male or female because it was so fat. Even its fat had fat, that's how fat it was. And it's hair was long, but scraggly and thin and the MOUSIEST brown color you ever saw. So mousy that even MICE would go, "Wow, your hair is colored BORING." They were wearing Gucci ring gear, but it might as well have been wearing something from Walmart for all the GOOD it did them. There was nothing about Twilightlover that sparkled or glittered. It were just ugly and gross and disgusting. Drool was coming out of its mouth, making its chin all shiny. GROSS shiny though. "I see you still like Twilight, you looser. Sparkling vampires are STUPID!"

"You know this person?" Roman asked, horrified. "You have been around things this ugly and yet you still are beautiful and HAWT? You are even more amazing than I thought you were. Every time I think you have hit the limit of amazing, you prove to be even MORE amazing. And Hawt." 

"I have a lot of resistance." Sparkleshine said. She didn't take her eyeballs off Twilight Lover, even though she wanted to puke at just the site of it "And yeah, I know I'm amazing." 

"Is it a guy or a girl?" Dean asked. "And damn, why don't I have my GUN when I need it?" 

"No one ever got close enough to figure it OUT." Sparkleshine said. "But we suspect it's female." 

"Twilightlover made a bunch of really disgusting noises, and almost bit off parts of its tongue it was so angry. "Everyone knows Twilight is the BEST literature EVER!" it said, bits of angry spit foam spraying about as it spoke. "The best MOVIES too." 

"Oh PU-LEASE!" Sparkleshine said, rolling her silver blue eyes. "Twilight suck, you suck, Team Edward sucks, Team Jacob sucks and Bella is a HORRIBLE Mary Sue without one REDEAMING quality. JUST. LIKE. YOU!" She said the last three words with a punch at the end. It was so dramatic that people in the audience cheered. 

"Be careful, Babygirl," Roman said, stepping closer, getting ready to PROTECT her if he had to.

"It's cool, Romie," Sparkleshine said, looking at him with all this tenderness in her eyes and stuff. "I've dealt with it before."

"WHAT?" Twilight lover roared and bellowed, looking for all the world like a bellowing beast. "You DARE insult TWILIGHT?" 

"Yeah, I do," Sparkleshine said. "Why are you here, Twilightlover? Why are you, as usual, trying to rain on my sparkle?!?" 

Twilightlover started toward the ring. Two security dudes tried to stop it, but Twilightlover just ate them. Just picked them up as if they were chocolate bunnies and shoved them into its gaping maw. As it chewed, you could hear bones snapping. It was disgusting.

"STOP THAT!" Sparkleshine ordered. "YOU CAN'T EAT PEOPLE!"

"FUCK YOU!" Twlightlover roared, "I'll do what I WANT!"

"Wasn't it enough that you told LIES about me in HIGH SCHOOL, TWILIGHTLOVER?" Sparkleshine shouted back, "You told all the MEAN girls that I gave KADEN a BLOWJOB behind the school when I did NO SUCH THING!"

"That wasn't ME!" Twlightlover screamed and ate another security person who tried to stop it. "I keep TELLING you that was NICHOL WATTSON!"

"No WAY!" Sparkleshine disagreed. "Nicki-nick was my BESTIE, she'd never say that. It was YOU TWILIGHTLOVER!"

"No!" Twilight was up to the ring by now and it huffed and wheezed its way into the ring. 

"Eww!" Roman said, grabbing his nose. "It stinks!" 

"Oh god, I'm puking in my MOUTH!" Dean roared. He was so upset and so afraid he'd puke more that he ran off. 

"It smells like every old DEAD thing rolled into a ball and then soaked in POOP!" Seth exclaimed. 

*THUD* Lesnar keeled over in a dead faint.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Paul bellowed, "My name is Paul Heyman, and this... Twlightlover smells so revolting that my client, BAAARRROOCCCCCKKKKK LESSSNAR, just passed out." 

"So, why are you here, Twatlightlover?" Sparkleshine asked, trying to breathe through her mouth so she didn't have to SMELL this REVOLTING creature.

"Because I'm going to destroy you once and for all!" Twitlightlover roared. "I wasn't the one who told everyone you gave Kaden a BLOWJOB, but I have tried to destroy you, and you always find a way out!"

"Oh?" Sparkleshine did not look impressed. "Why do you want to destroy me? Destroying ME won't make YOU any less DISGUSTING!" 

"Because you SUCK!" Twerplightlover roared. "You RUINED my life when we were in HIGH SCHOOL!"

"Oh please!" Sparkleshine said dismissively, waving her hand in a dismissing fashion. "How did I ruin your life?"

"Let's start with MARSHAL?" Twilightlover roared. "You remember MARSHAL, don't you?" 

"Marshal Melo?" Sparkleshine said, thinking hard to remember. "Oh god, yeah, I went out with him like three days back in the ninth grade. God, that was so long ago. Almost five years." 

"I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM!" Twilightlover bellowed. "AND YOU STOLE HIM!"

"No, I didn't," Sparkleshine said, shaking her head in disagreement. And the audience all went, "ooooh" making that noise to show they supported Sparkleshine. "He never liked you. NO ONE liked you!"

"He did too!" Twatlightlover protested. "He did until you STOLE him and TWISTED his mind."

"I didn't twist anything," Sparkleshine said, letting her eyeballs roll again in a dismissive fashion. "Didn't his family move to another town?"

"Yeah," Twilightlover said, looking smug as it crossed its fat ugly arms over its fat ugly chest, "Amazing how easy it is to arrange things like that when your father is RICH and OWNS THE WHOLE STATE!"

Sparkleshine stared at Twlightlover in surprise. "You got Marshal transferred because he asked me out?"

Twilightlover nodded it's fat ugly head, and one of its many chins wobbled. "Of course I did. When your Daddy is RICH and OWNS THE WHOLE STATE you pretty much get what you want. Why do you think your parents had to keep moving to all those terrible neighborhoods with all the Earthquakes and Tornadoes and Floods were happening? 

Sparkleshine's eyes got extra wide in their eyeball sockets. "That was YOU?" 

Twilightlover nodded again. "Yeah. My dad owned ALL THE APARTMENT buildings and he made sure that the only places your parents could rent were places in areas where natural disasters struck."

"And they could never get a mortgage!" Sparkleshine said, horror making her eyes even wider as she realized how EVIL Twilightlover truly was. She thought she had heard the worst, but she didn't know. If she had, she might have cried a little. "Because your dad owned all the banks." 

"Yep!" Twilight lover looked smug. "But my dad did help your dad get that one mortgage, remember?"

"Yeah," Sparkleshine said, hotly, her voice hot with anger. "I remember that house. It was on the top of an ACTIVE VOLCANO! We didn't own it for six months before it got burned up! Thank God we were all camping when it-" Her voice trailed off. "The-the camping trip.. where the bear... the big huge, abnormally FAT bear ate my DAD, right in FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS!" 

"Bear suits are cheap when your dad is a bazillionare," Twilightlover said, smugly. 

"Wait a moment," Roman said, moving closer to Sparkleshine who was starting to cry, but it was the pretty type of crying, like TV actresses do, not the ugly crying where your skin gets all blotchy and stuff. "You dressed up like a bear and ate Sparkleshine's dad?"

"Duh!" Twilightlover said, staring at Roman as if he was stupid. VERY HOT but stupid. "That's not all I did either!" it went on to say, "I told Jayden Sparkleshine already HAD a date to the prom. I was hoping he'd ask me, but he didn't, he asked that STUPID McKenzie Flosner, but still, the idea that SPARKLESHINE sat ALONE in her house on PROM NIGHT was worth it."

"That has to be the BITCHIEST thing someone could do!" Roman shouted, all horrified. "Bad enough you did all those other mean things, but to ruin her PROM night?" 

"But I DIDN'T stay home alone," Sparkleshine said, triumph creeping into her voice. "I went to the prom with Brian Smith!" 

"NO!" Twilightlover looked aghast and horrified. "NO! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SIT HOME AND BE MISERABLE!" It screamed all angry and crap. "IF I COULDN'T GO TO PROM THEN YOU COULDN'T EITHER!"

"Sorry," Sparkleshine said, shrugging her shoulders. "Went with Brian. Even had a great time. I would have rather it was Jayden, 'cause he had that cute Beiber hair, but Brian was pretty nice and shit." 

"Well I've HAD ENOUGH of YOU!" Twilightlover roared, because this story was getting way too long and needed to be wrapped up. "And THIS time I will TAKE YOU OUT FOR GOOD!" Then Roman Reigns will love ME!"

Roman's lip curled up in a sneer. "ME? Love YOU? Don't make me laugh." And he laughed anyway because it was funny. "I don't know what you are, but let's put it this way. On a scale of 1-10 I am a twelve and you are a negative BAZILLION." And even though he found it disgusting, revolting and smelly, Roman forced himself to walk up and look into it's beady, ugly eyes. "DO THE FUCKING MATH!" he screamed in its face.

"GARRRR!" Twilight lover growled and got ready to attack Sparkleshine. "Even if Roman doesn't want me, I still want to kill you!" 

Sparkleshine braced herself, knowing this would be the TOUGHEST FIGHT ever.

"HEY TWATLIGHTLOVER!" Someone yelled.

Everyone, including Twilightlover turned and looked. At the top of the ramp was Dean and he had a GUN in his hand. "What do YOU want?" Twilightlover screamed. 

"You're a dog," Dean said, coming down the ramp. "An ugly, mean, dog. And you were CRUEL to Sparkleshine." 

"SO? Twilightlover roared, not caring. "What are YOU going to do about it?" 

"I'm going to shoot you!" Dean held up the gun.

"NO!" Sparkleshine shouted, because even though Twilightlover deserved to die just for being so damned ugly, never mind all the ugly things it did, Sparkleshine had COMPASSION. She didn't want Twilightlover to die, she would much rather she went to prison and had a very LONG and MISERABLE life. Because real prison? Is not like that crap you see in Orange in the New Black. Real prison SUCKS. And Sparkleshine liked the idea of Twilightlover having a very long, very sucky life. 

But Dean wasn't listening. He held up the gun and pointed it right at Twilightlover's ugly face, pulled back the trigger and FIRED!

Everyone gasped in horror and then looked surprised. Instead of bullets and Twilightlover's brains spraying about the place, the rifle was spraying a stream of brown stuff. It landed on Twilightlover's UGLY face, not making it look any more attractive. It roared then began licking at the brown stuff. "GRAVY!" It screamed. "BEEF GRAVY!" Something that might have been a smile overtook it's ugly puss, not making it look any less ugly. But it licked at the gravy, then pointed at its open mouth, indicating it wanted more gravy. "MORE! MORE! FEED ME MORE!"

"That's IT Ryback screamed from somewhere. "I'm SUING that peice of crap!" 

Suddenly, Punk and some of the other wrestlers were up in the ring. "Okay!" Punk said, taking charge. "We've got to take this... THING down now! While it's distracted with Dean's gravy, we have to jump it and knock it down." 

"But won't we get poisoned if we TOUCH it?" Bray Wyatt said, his lips curled n a sneer. "Like one of those toads or something that just the stuff oozing on the SKIN will poison you?

"That's a chance we have to take!" Punk said. "We have to do it, if not for us, for SPARKLESHINE!" Then, he quickly added. "Who I think is beautiful, but not nearly as beautiful as my wonderful wife AJ who I LOVE WITH ALL MY HART!" 

"I"ll help!" Roman cried. 

"Me too!" Seth said. 

"I can't let you guys do this without me!" Sparkleshine said, all touched and stuff that these people were willing to risk their lives and likely ruin their clothes for her. "I must help!"

"Can't keep distracting her," Dean shouted. "Gravy is gonna run out, soon!" 

"Let's GO Then!" Sparkleshine shouted and they all jumped Twilightlover. Sparkleshine leaped high in the air and came down feet first and landed on Twilightlover's head. The other guys all grabbed onto it, doing their best to ignore the stench. Then, the cops came running down with chains and they chained up Twilightlover, like the ANIMAL it was. 

"Wow," Michael Cole said. "That was pretty exciting.

"I'll say!" JBL agreed. 

End of Chapter Six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Author's Notes: Leave me a BAD review and YOU WILL get PUNISHED! Hah hah! Take THAT Twilightlover. (Twilight sucks too. I wasn't just SAYING that in the story, it SUCKS Major Sparkly Vampires are SO STUPID.)_
> 
> **Real Author's Notes: I suspect "Twilight Lover" was actually going with the spirit of the story and leaving me a bad review because I complained about bad reviews being unfair (as poor writers are wont to do) If they were serious.. oh well... if they weren't, I hope they appreciate this**


	7. Her Hart Will Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The saga finally ends as Sparkelshine Sue Sugar realizes that her tragic past is now mostly resolved. Except for the cereal killer. That's still out there.

They ended Smackdown right after that, deciding that there was WAY too much DRAMA and stuff to have a match between Lesnar and Sparkleshine. Besides, Lesnar was still dizzy from the horrible STENCH of Twatwafflelover. You'd think a guy as big and tough looking as Brock Lesnar would be immune to smells, but his big weakness turned out to be stinky, stinky, people. 

When the show ended, Seth ran to CutiePie and hugged her. "Are you okay?"

She hugged him back. "I am fine, Seth," she said. "Thank you for caring about me." 

"How could I not care about you?" Seth said. "You are the bestest most wonderful girl I have ever met. Will you marry me?" 

And CutiePie says yes. And they kissed and went backstage where everyone congratulated them, except for the jealous bitchy divas who weren't as cute as CUTIEPIE and were crushing on Seth. 

Roman went up to Dean and shook his head, his hair falling about his face, because it had dried out there into beautiful waves. "I thought you were going to KILL Twilightlover!" he said.

Dean shook his head. "No. Why would you think that?"

"Because you keep saying you want to shoot dogs," Roman explained telling him the reason for what he was saying. "You said Twilightlover was a dog, so, we assumed when we saw that GUN that you were going to SHOOT it." 

"I did," Dean said, looking all puzzled.

"Yeah, but you shot it with gravy," Roman continued, waiting for Dean to GET what he was SAYING. 

"Well, yeah," Dean said. "I shoot all dogs with beef gravy. They start trying to lick it up, and they look so stupid and ridiculous and it makes me laugh." He frowned. "Did you think I wanted to shoot like bullets? Like KILL some poor innocent dog? GESH that's TERRIBLE! I would NEVER do that." 

"Wow," Roman felt bad. "Sorry, I feel bad now." 

Meanwhile, even though there were fans and sick kids that needed her compassion, Sparkleshine found herself running to her PRIVATE dressing room. First because she still had on her ring gear that smelled like Twitlightlover and she had to change. Second, because she had a lot of sad. 

'All my life,' she thought to herself, thinking about this. 'I have had this HORRIBLE TRAGIC PAST. And it gave me SO much sad. I never could have a NORMAL life. I never could FALL IN LOVE. And it turns out, all of it wasn't my fault! I didn't make it so my parents had to move to neighborhoods rife with NATURAL DISASTERS. That wasn't SATAN punishing my family because they had the most PERFECT daughter in the world. That was Twilightlover's doing. And I didn't accidentally LURE that bear to the campsite because my extreme beauty attracts EVERY living thing. That was Twilightlover! And Jaden WOULD have asked me to the prom, but TWILIGHTLOVER told him I had a date. My god, All of my TRAGIC HORRIBLE PAST can be blamed on Twilightlover! It's all its fault! Well, except for the cereal killer and maybe I'll find a way to blame that on them too.'

And she felt like a HUGE weight was lifting off her shoulders! She took a quick shower and changed into the CUTEST outfit, that was very, very, purple and pink and sparkly. She dried her Raven locks and put on a touch of pink lipstick, then ran out.

Just as she ran out the door, she saw Roman and Dean. They were coming to see if she was okay. "Hi!" she said.

"Hi!" They said, then Roman said, "Sparkleshine...I love you. I know you had a HORRIBLE TRAGIC PAST, but I can't help the way I feel. I love you! And I will DO what I CAN to help you get over it!"

"But the problem is that I Love you too!" Dean declared. "And Roman and I are friends. We always want to be friends, so YOU have to decide which one of us will you pick to help you get over your HORRIBLE TRAGIC PAST." 

"Guys, I'm okay now!" Sparkleshine said, her eyes sparkling like two perfectly cut sapphires. "I realized, I never did anything but be beautiful and sparkly, and those are GOOD things. All the BAD, or at least 99% of the bad that happened to me in my past? That wasn't me! It was Twilightlover! I am FREE to have a life!"

And Dean and Roman cried, but it was happy crying, not miserable crying. And they hugged Sparkleshine and she hugged them back. It was super touching and emotional and the sprinkler system almost turned on because it wanted to cry with them. But fortunately, it didn't, or Sparkleshine's hair would have gotten wet. 

"But you still have to decide," Dean said. "Which one of us do you want?" 

This was tough. Sparkleshine frowned. "This is tough," she said, knowing how tough it was going to be. "I love both of you." 

"Yes, but you can only have one of us, babygirl," Roman said. "So who will it be?"

"You have to PROMISE me that whoever loses doesn't go and do something DRAMATIC like slit their wrists or pig out on Big Macs until they get fat." Sparkleshine said. 

"We promise," Roman and Dean said in union. 

"Pinkie swear!" Sparkleshine demanded. So Roman and Dean pinkie swore they would each accept being the loser like manly men and not cry. 

Sparkleshine sat down and thought. "There are so many things about both of you that are so trig," she said. "You're both handsome, although Roman is a tiny bit more handsome than you." 

Dean looked bummed, but he had to agree.

"But, you have very sparkly eyes and I like sparkly things," Sparkleshine continued. "Roman, your eyes are nice and all, but they aren't as sparkly as Deans."

"That is true," Roman said, looking a bit mournful.

"Dean, you are crazy, but you didn't really shoot dogs with bullets. You shoot them with gravy, which is weird, but not like dangerous weird."

"Score one for me!" Dean said.

"Roman, you are sane and nice and when you call me 'babygirl' I get naughty thoughts," Sparkleshine confessed, blushing.

"I try," Roman said, then added, "Babygirl."

"Oh, that is SO not fair!" Dean sputtered. 

"Hush, I'm still TALKING!" Sparkleshine demanded. 

They both shut up.

"A few months ago Roman, you would have been it, hands down," Sparkleshine said. "But lately I've notice this huge trend on Social Media to blame you for everything that's wrong with the WWE. I've even noticed that some fanfictions show that in another reality than this one, one where Shield breaks up, you are blamed for it, even though it was really Seth. People think you don't care enough about Dean. I can't have that, Roman. I can't have someone who isn't super popular, it's not fair to me." 

Roman sniffed.

"And, you do have a wife," Sparkleshine continued. "Who has terrible issues, but issues CAN be worked on, ISSUES can be RESOLVED. And I think that maybe you should try to resolve those ISSUES. I've seen your wife and she's pretty hot, even if she's not in my league. Maybe you should try to make things better with her than to go with me. I pick Dean."

And Dean jumped up and down and did fist pumps and a little victory dance. He looked so cute and happy.

But Roman had buckets of sad in his eyes. He didn't want to cry, but a tear rolled down his face. "You are right as always, Sparkleshine," he said. "I will go and try to work out those ISSUES with my wife. And I will try to be a good father to my daughter. And hopefully, some day people will stop blaming me for everything wrong with the WWE." 

"I doubt that last one," Sparkleshine said, "But you can try."

"Can I kiss you now?" Dean asked.

"YES!" Sparkleshine said. 

So, Dean wrapped his arms around her and they kissed and it was so beautiful and romantic. And from around the corner came all the divas and wrestlers and some of the sick kids and fans and they all started cheering they were so happy that Dean had found The Road to Her Hart!

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Author's notes: I'm crying here. I'm at the end of this and this story... I've been working on it for SO LONG it's become like a friend to me! I love it and I don't want it to end, but this seems like SUCH a good spot._
> 
> _I might write a sequel, but only if I get Twelve Bazillion comments telling me how much you love it. I don't think that's too much to ask, do YOU?_
> 
>  
> 
> **Real Author's notes: Originally I had this idea that this would be one of those sagas that never ends. But, humor like this wears thin after awhile and I'd rather end it here than get people sick of it. Will I do a sequel? Maybe, if the mood strikes me. But, part of me thinks that having Sparkleshine and this version of Dean slip quietly into the sunset together, no doubt to do naughty things is how it should be left.**
> 
> **The whole thing with Roman not being popular enough? Yeah, that was a bit of my own frustration coming through. Apparently all the cool kids hate Roman Reigns now, so it made sense that Sparkleshine would be shallow enough to reject him because of that.**

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: No, I have not taken up meth or crack smoking as a new hobby. I was having trouble writing because I'm not feeling well (same crud, still kicking my butt) and I yelled, "I can't write anything good!" 
> 
> To which my beta reader yelled, "Then write something bad, just write!" 
> 
> I think she was joking, but half in jest I sat down and wrote the first couple pages and let her read it. She couldn't stop laughing and dared me to publish it. So, here we are. 
> 
> Please don't hate me. Please don't take this seriously. This is a parody. This is something they could put in text books about how to write poorly. Either you'll get it or you won't.


End file.
